Category Archives: Home

No Wonder We Don’t Have A Space Program

Who wants to go into space if all we’re going to discover is an indestructible endoparasitoid extraterrestrial species?

Rant from Amir, a character in development:
“What’s with these detestable cheerful bright colors??!?! ‘Home’ is Sci-Fi isn’t it?? Listen up: I want lasers, dark dangerous evil, ruthless aliens flying around killing idiots, lasers, people freeze-drying, brutal crazy crap popping out of stomachs, viruses, explosions, wickedness, tentacles obsessed with diving down putzes throats, death: death beams, death stars, death dearth, darth vaders, death despair, death disaster. Did I mention lasers?!? Misery entertains me! If it bleeds it leads! Outer space’s lethal man. Give me deathliness. Instantly. Immediately please not now right now. I shouldn’t have to say please because what I want is what science fiction is. Everyone knows our universe was created by malevolent obscene councils of sadistic evil demons flying around in vicious conflict with each other. We’re finished. No one wants Future-is-Great crap. It highly aggravates pisses me off as a member of The Lost Generation – a Zero without a Hero, me – to tell you, this. It hurts. For your information I grew up watching Babylon 5 Battlestar Galactica Star Wars Star Trek Starwhatever SyFy Alien Prometheus Avatar – all of it, the whole thing – I am expert on high-tech corporate body snatching straight up ass butchery. With lasers. Dig it. Get with it. Butchery à la badass. Carnage à la punkass. That’s la programmé. Pull it together: Zombies. Space. Lasers. Pirates. Make it happen. Insane aliens. Aliens angels fear. Aliens god is afraid of. Lasers. Mucho lasers: laser swords, laser guns, laser jails, planet destroying lasers. Everywhere lasers. Be realistic: life sucks. With lasers. On Earth, on Mars. Everywhere. Lasers. Guaranteed. Stop annoying me you offensive optimist.”