The Rockwell Retro Encabulator : )

Some of the Better Comments:

  • For God’s sake, I wish this guy would stop dumbing down everything. I’m not an idiot!
  • Ugh, you’re an idiot, didn’t you hear anything he said? If you have trouble following, maybe you should go back to school. JEEZE. Wtf do they teach now a days?
  •  I actually used this video about 5 years ago to scare the tar out of my company’s sales force (I’m an engineer).
  • Boy, I sure am glad to see that I was’nt the ONLY person to recognize that shortcoming of the original Encabulator. 
  • Is this guy a pastor?, they talk the same language.
  • Does anyone understand a word he just said? Patrick Carney told me to watch this, and I don’t know why!:(
  • try Google-ing any of the things he says. nothing that makes sence comes up. [LOL]
  • did he just say dinglearm? 
  • What is the OSHA stance on this Entrapulator?
  • … so there really is a “dingle arm”?
  • I blame Dr. Seuss
  • I bought one on Ebay!!
  • my life is better thanks to the Rockwell Retro Encabulator. thak you Rockwell
  • My Engineers can get me to say anything. I wasn’t even sure they were kidding when they sent me this link!
  • I’ve had 3 of these and NONE of them worked!


The Turbo Encabulator

I found the following at, but that link is now broken. The poster thinks “Nobody knows who wrote it.” Actually it appears that some people do know who wrote it 🙂
I haven’t seen the original, but I found a reference to it on pages 64-65 of Robert R. Rathbone, Communicating Technical Information, A Guide to Current Uses and Abuses in Scientific and Engineering Writing, Addison-Wesley Publishing Company, Reading MA, 1966. The following appeared in “The Turbo-Encabulator in Industry,” by J. H. Quick, in Student’s Quarterly Journal, Institution of Electrical Engineers, London, 1944.
Rathbone’s quotation differs slightly from the following:
Date: 21 Jun 93 04:31:27 EDT (Mon)
From: dscatl! (Lindsay Cleveland)
Subject: cutie
To: spaf

Contributed by: hp-pcd!jimd

The Turbo Encabulator

This article appeared in a mechanical trade journal around 1945. My
grandfather, editor of the Welder's Digest, kept it in his scrap-
book. Nobody knows who wrote it.

For a number of years work has been proceeding in order to bring
perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a machine that would not
only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase
detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing
cardinal grammeters. Such a machine is the "Turbo-Encabulator."
Basically, the only new principle involved is that instead of power
being generated by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes, it
is produced by the modial interaction of magneto-reluctance and
capacitive directance.

The original machine had a base-plate of pre-fabulated amulite,
surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the
two spurving bearings were in a direct line with the pentametric fan.
The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzelvances, so
fitted to the ambifacient lunar waneshaft that side fumbling was
effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal lotus-o-delta
type placed in panendermic semi-boloid slots in the stator, every
seventh conductor being connected by a non-reversible tremie pipe to
the differential girdlespring on the "up" end of the grammeters.

Electrical engineers will appreciate the difficulty of nubing
together a regurgitative purwell and a supramitive wennel-sprocket.
Indeed, this proved to be a stumbling block to further development
until, in 1942, it was found that the use of anhydrous nangling pins
enabled a kryptonastic bolling shim to be tankered.

The early attempts to construct a sufficiently robust spiral
decommutator failed largely because of a lack of appreciation of the
large quasi-piestic stresses in the gremlin studs; the latter were
specially designed to hold the roffit bars to the spamshaft. When,
however, it was discovered that wending could be prevented by a simple
addition to the living sockets, almost perfect running was secured.

The operating point is maintained as near as possible to the
h.f. rem peak by constantly fromaging the bitumogenous spandrels.
This is a distinct advance on the standard nivel-sheave in that no
dramcock oil is required after the phase detractors have been remissed.

Undoubtedly, the turbo-encabulator has now reached a very high
level of technical development. It has been successfully used for
operating nofer trunnions. In addition, whenever a barescent skor
motion is required, it may be employed in conjunction with a drawn
reciprocating dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal depleneration.